Different Thinking Podcast with Berber Pasveer - A protocol for grief in the workplace, good idea or not?

A protocol for grief in the workplace, good idea or not? - Different Thinking Podcast #25

Starting this year, bereavement leave will become legal for Dutch employees. Full-time employees will be entitled to five days of paid leave following the death of a partner or minor child. An important step, but is this enough to facilitate the complex process of grief? In episode 25 of the Anders Denken Podcast, Berber Pasveer, independent funeral director, explains why grief cannot be captured in a set protocol and how employers can deal more effectively with grief in the workplace.

The law versus the reality of grief

The new change in the law requires employers to continue paying employees during bereavement leave. The purpose of this is to support employees during their grieving process and prevent long-term absenteeism. While this is a positive development, Berber Pasveer highlights in the Anders Denken Podcast why a fixed grief protocol does not work. "When organizations say they have a grief protocol, my hairs stand up straight," Berber explains. "There can't be a protocol for grief, at best absenteeism policy."

Individualized approach to grief in the workplace

Grief is a personal process that happens differently for everyone. The legal five days of leave may be enough for some, while others need much longer to regain full function. This means that organizations need to look beyond and not stick to a protocol.

According to Berber, it is essential that employers:

1. Show understanding and listen well - Listen to the grieving colleague's story rather than giving advice immediately.
2. Asking the right questions - Avoid general questions such as "How are you?" and instead ask specific, open-ended questions such as "How did you experience the funeral?"
3. Customize - Ask what the employee needs, such as starting later or starting at home.
4. Stay involved - Keep the employee involved at work, because it does not help to send a grieving employee home. Therefore, as an employer, try to stay involved in the grieving process by listening carefully and showing interest.

Why calling in sick is not the solution

A key insight Berber shares is that grief is not an illness. "Sending someone home or having them call in sick doesn't work. It can then become medical or chronic absenteeism," she warns. The challenge for employers lies in finding a balance: keeping the grieving employee involved in the work process without exerting undue pressure. "If given and felt space, it contributes to recovery. Doing things yourself makes the process of moving on better."

Look beyond legal bereavement leave

The legalization of bereavement leave is a good first step, but grief cannot be captured in a five-day time frame. Employers who want to contribute to the sustainable employability of their employees will have to look beyond legal mourning leave. Mourning requires time, space and understanding, which cannot be captured in a protocol.