What employers are better off not doing with a grieving employee

Grief is an intense process that can have a great impact on employees' personal lives. It is therefore important to deal with grieving employees in a supportive and respectful manner. Inappropriate reactions or lack of understanding can not only complicate the grieving process, but also lead to unwanted absenteeism from work. In this article, we will discuss what you had better not do when an employee is grieving.

1. Not taking the grieving process seriously

It is important to take employees' grief seriously. Trivializing the loss, such as by saying "you have to move on," can make the employee feel that their grief is not acknowledged. This can increase the distance between you and the employee. There are also situations where the employee wants to adjust faster than is emotionally feasible, which can ultimately result in (increased) absenteeism from work.

2. Not offering flexibility

Grieving requires time and space, as well as practical adjustments in work. By not offering flexibility, such as the ability to adjust work hours or arrange temporary absences, you create unnecessary stress for employees. Employees may then feel forced to work while unable to perform their tasks properly, increasing the risk of dropout. Rather, give employees the confidence to indicate their own needs.

3. Failure to communicate expectations

Often forgotten is the importance of clear communication, especially when an employee is grieving. Keep talking to a grieving employee about expectations during the grieving period. This will help you avoid ambiguity and possible misunderstandings. Unclear or unrealistic expectations can cause the employee to feel pressured, which only delays the recovery process.

4. Ignoring or avoiding grief

Avoiding the topic of grief can make the situation worse. As an employer, it is important to be open about the grieving period so that employees feel supported. After all, someone in grief needs to be listened to more than anything else. Feeling sorry for someone and not bothering them can make someone feel that their feelings are unwanted. So it is up to employers to keep their finger on the pulse and check in with the grieving colleague on a weekly basis. Then don't ask the question, "How are you?" because that is a very difficult question to answer. Instead, you can ask what someone needs. Or ask how it is going to combine working and grieving. Or just listen to someone's story without judgment. Acknowledge that someone is doing grief work and don't confuse the mental state of being that comes with it with illness.

Want to know more?

Do you want support in starting the conversation with a grieving employee? Or how to promote sustainable employability? Contact one of the colleagues of paraDIGMA groep. You can also contact one of our labels for knowledge and expertise in all areas of sustainable employability.